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What’s it like being a young woman today? Feminists won the equal rights war back in the 70s, and young women today have it so much easier than their mothers, right? Wrong, argues Emily Maguire in her new book Princesses or Pornstars?

Society today is most comfortable to categorise women as Princesses (in need of protection) or Pornstars (peoples whose major duty is to be attractive and turn on men).  Her new book looks at how the treatment of young women as fragile or in need of male assistance can be as objectifying and damaging to women as pornography. You may have read recently about the ‘Peek a Boo’ Pole Dancing Kit being sold as a toy for girls on the website of a major British retailer.  A friend was exacerbated last week by the sexual innuendoes she witnessed being performed by local high school girls in a bid for male attention.  In another new book on this controversial topic, What’s Happening To Our Girls? Maggie Hamilton explores the idea that a whole generation of females are being ‘overstimulated, over-sold, and oversexed.’  “Alongside the dazzling possibilities, subtler forces are emerging that threaten the many gains girls have made,” she says. If, like me, you find the role models for younger women today very disappointing, then this may be part of the problem.   ‘Generation Skank’ as they are now referred, seem to have snuck up on us.  The question is however, how can we teach young women to have confidence in their sexuality and be able to represent it in a positive way? It is a complicated issue, and not to allow teenage girls to speak openly about being sexual puts them in danger.  "Some of the most dangerous situations I was in was because I felt so ashamed and so on the outer, I would never speak up about anything to do with that part of myself," Maguire says. "The best thing you can do is acknowledge that many teenagers are sexual – not necessary sexually active, or sexually knowledgeable, but that they are sexual creatures – that is what part of what they are." When asked why some young women embrace these over-exposed Hollywoord role models, Maguire says, “There can be a (temporary) self-esteem boost that comes with that kind of attention.  The reassurance that they’re ‘hot’ can provide relief – again, temporary – from the anxiety that they’re not meeting fashion-magazine or pornography influenced beauty standards.  Given how much pressure young women are under to conform to these beauty standards, the temporary self-esteem boost that comes with that kind of attention can be a powerful incentive.” “Rather than telling young women their behaviour is self-objectifying or some other term that blames women for doing what their culture encourages them to do, I think we need to attempt to change the way young women think about sex and sexuality.  It’s hard, especially for younger people who have little experience.  Sexual empowerment comes from knowing what you like, and from being able to communicate that without shame.  Young women need to value their own sexual pleasure rather than trying to conform to some external idea of sexiness.” Maguire continues, “Most girls find role models in their immediate circle.  So while they might copy Paris Hilton’s outfits, they’re more likely to look to their mum or aunty or teachers for guidance and inspiration. I’d say the better the real life role models, the less influence the celebrity type will have.” Hamilton supports this.  “Sharing experiences learnt from your own teen experiences is helpful; ridiculing your daughter’s culture is not."  Hamilton feels it is very important that parents need to resist the temptation to appear ‘cool’ by turning a blind eye to inappropriate behaviour.  “What I’ve tried to do is give them back the confidence to be parents.” Local expert Rebecca Thomson works extensively in Brisbane with parents and their teenage daughters.  Through individual sessions and workshops for parents and their daughters, young women and their identity are explored.  Confidence, self esteem, self worth and young women’s sexuality are all delved into.  Readers can contact Rebecca directly at Rebecca@elevateyou.com.au for advice on this topic or for more information about her coaching sessions and workshops.

This blog is designed for Brisbane women, about Brisbane women. Have your say here.

Who are appopriate role models for young women today?  How do you feel about the sexual advertising directed at teenage girls?  Do you feel that young women and their sexuality has become more complicated post feminism?  I would like to hear from parents of teenage daughters and how they have handled any challenges in this area.

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