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Feminism is now a dirty word. A male friend remarked recently on the current demise of feminism, “Young women don’t understand how tough it was back in my mother’s day. She couldn’t even open a bank account without dad’s signature and if a woman wanted a drink at the local pub, her husband would bring a beer out to her in the car park, because she was not allowed to go in.”

We only have to look at the above old photograph to be reminded that our basic right to vote was something our female ancestors had to fight for.  Imagine living in a time when a woman’s opinion just did not matter. Many modern women are strong supporters of equal rights.  We believe in equality in the workplace and equality in relationships.   Like many generation X-ers I believe feminism has been a good thing for women as we now have choice over our reproductive rights, are free from having to tolerate domestic violence, sexual harassment and sexual violence.   It has entitled modern women to some paid maternity leave and receiving equal pay in the work force.   The standards that modern women take for granted were not the custom many years ago. Feminism today however is cloaked with bleak perceptions.  Why is a movement that started out to support and empower women, now repelled by so many?  Many accomplished and brilliant women do not want to be called or labelled feminists, even though they strongly support equal rights. I came across a well documented speech on this matter.  Dr Jandice Shaw Crouse addressed this issue in 2003 and even though it is five years old now, I think the message is still relevant.  “Somewhere along the way, feminism lost its way.  The movement forgot that ‘having it all’ included the personal dimension.  Life is not just profession and career.  Success is not measured JUST in a pay check and status….Women want the freedom to be all they can be and they want to be treated with dignity and respect.  They also want the opportunity to have meaningful careers and productive lives — but most aren’t willing for their ambition to harm their relationships or damage their children.” It seems feminism somehow became linked to radical politics, the hatred of men and more importantly – the rejection of the traditional family. The basic principle of feminism is about freedom and choice for women.  Many modern women are now choosing to take time out from their careers to raise families or create businesses from home that won’t interfere with their family life.  Couldn’t a stay at home mum or a single working girl both be considered feminists – if they believe in equality in their relationships and look for gender equality in their life? Virginia Haussegger spoke passionately about this in her controversial book Wonder Woman: The myth of having it all (2005).  She came straight out and blamed feminism for her childlessness.  Virginia referred to ‘our feminist mothers’ as having tricked her into believing happiness would come from a career.  Virginia worked hard and established a very successful career in journalism and television presenting, only to discover at 38 that she was no longer able to have children, just at the time when she felt ready. In her controversial book The Feminine Mystique (1963) Betty Friedan said that women were victims of a false belief system that finding identity and meaning in their lives comes through their husbands and children.  Her argument was that this belief system causes women to lose their identity in that of their family.  I think she has a fair point – shouldn’t a woman have her own identity and her husband and children be a part of this? This is really about a woman’s personal choice and her not being judged as a result of that choice.  Some women opt not to have children at all.  Others have children and place them in full time care, returning to work straight away.  Some women don’t ever want to return to work and others decide to take on part time work.  Do any of these choices really oppose feminism  – if the woman is doing what makes her happy? Many women, like Virginia, lay blame with feminism for their own choices that they now regret.  The reality is for some women reward comes from their career, for others it comes from being a mother and for the vast majority, it is a happy blend of both. Feminism started out with the best intentions and it saddens me to think that such an important part of our female history is now viewed so poorly.  I write about modern women and because of this am often asked me if I am a feminist; the truth is I find it a challenging question to answer.

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< What does feminism mean to you? Do you consider yourself a feminist?

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