What went wrong?
Feminism is now a dirty word. A male friend remarked recently on the current demise of feminism, “Young women don’t understand how tough it was back in my mother’s day. She couldn’t even open a bank account without dad’s signature and if a woman wanted a drink at the local pub, her husband would bring a beer out to her in the car park, because she was not allowed to go in.”
We only have to look at the above old photograph to be reminded that our basic right to vote was something our female ancestors had to fight for. Imagine living in a time when a woman’s opinion just did not matter. Many modern women are strong supporters of equal rights. We believe in equality in the workplace and equality in relationships. Like many generation X-ers I believe feminism has been a good thing for women as we now have choice over our reproductive rights, are free from having to tolerate domestic violence, sexual harassment and sexual violence. It has entitled modern women to some paid maternity leave and receiving equal pay in the work force. The standards that modern women take for granted were not the custom many years ago. Feminism today however is cloaked with bleak perceptions. Why is a movement that started out to support and empower women, now repelled by so many? Many accomplished and brilliant women do not want to be called or labelled feminists, even though they strongly support equal rights. I came across a well documented speech on this matter. Dr Jandice Shaw Crouse addressed this issue in 2003 and even though it is five years old now, I think the message is still relevant. “Somewhere along the way, feminism lost its way. The movement forgot that ‘having it all’ included the personal dimension. Life is not just profession and career. Success is not measured JUST in a pay check and status….Women want the freedom to be all they can be and they want to be treated with dignity and respect. They also want the opportunity to have meaningful careers and productive lives — but most aren’t willing for their ambition to harm their relationships or damage their children.” It seems feminism somehow became linked to radical politics, the hatred of men and more importantly – the rejection of the traditional family. The basic principle of feminism is about freedom and choice for women. Many modern women are now choosing to take time out from their careers to raise families or create businesses from home that won’t interfere with their family life. Couldn’t a stay at home mum or a single working girl both be considered feminists – if they believe in equality in their relationships and look for gender equality in their life? Virginia Haussegger spoke passionately about this in her controversial book Wonder Woman: The myth of having it all (2005). She came straight out and blamed feminism for her childlessness. Virginia referred to ‘our feminist mothers’ as having tricked her into believing happiness would come from a career. Virginia worked hard and established a very successful career in journalism and television presenting, only to discover at 38 that she was no longer able to have children, just at the time when she felt ready. In her controversial book The Feminine Mystique (1963) Betty Friedan said that women were victims of a false belief system that finding identity and meaning in their lives comes through their husbands and children. Her argument was that this belief system causes women to lose their identity in that of their family. I think she has a fair point – shouldn’t a woman have her own identity and her husband and children be a part of this? This is really about a woman’s personal choice and her not being judged as a result of that choice. Some women opt not to have children at all. Others have children and place them in full time care, returning to work straight away. Some women don’t ever want to return to work and others decide to take on part time work. Do any of these choices really oppose feminism – if the woman is doing what makes her happy? Many women, like Virginia, lay blame with feminism for their own choices that they now regret. The reality is for some women reward comes from their career, for others it comes from being a mother and for the vast majority, it is a happy blend of both. Feminism started out with the best intentions and it saddens me to think that such an important part of our female history is now viewed so poorly. I write about modern women and because of this am often asked me if I am a feminist; the truth is I find it a challenging question to answer.
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Hello, I enjoyed this weeks post very much Kylie. Very thought provoking. I think it comes down to women making choices in her life about what she wants to do, regardless of societies expectation of her. Some women still seem to miss the importance of this, if they really want to be happy.
I was asked this question not long ago and nearly fell over – “Me a feminist – I don’t think so” I only reacted like this because of the very negative stereotype. Who wants to be seen as an aggressive manhater – which is not what feminism is about I know, but still many people view feminists this way.
You make some good points Kylie. However there are some feminsits out there that are aggressive and difficult and women don’t want to be put under the same umbrella e.g Germaine Greer. I listened to her speak once and she was wonderful, not at all what I expected – she has such a terrible media image.
It’s true I think of feminists as very aggressive, even though I belive in equal rights.
I find it very offensive when so many men scorn at the word feminist… it gets the same reaction if you said you were selling Amway. Everyone needs to adjust their attitudes to the word. I agree respect and equal opportunity are imperative for this world going forward to make us, as a nation in a global market, succeed in its competitive advantages!
I agree Lillian, I think everyone needs to re-think how they view feminism.
It is the only way forward.
Would anyone really want to be living their lives any differently today?
I feel the word feminism has taken on a negative meaning and not at all complimentary to the modern woman. In a perfect world, it would be great to have choices. In reality, I know a lot of women who are not happy having to juggle work and family – feeling as though they are not at their best in either role. I am one of those women. However, I believe I am a more fulfilled woman today than I would have been had we not progressed our place in society via the feminist movement.
I agree that feminism has taken on a dirty meaning. My male flatmates, take on their chauvinistic persona just to get a rise out of me. I’m always a little bit torn – do I have to take on the “feminist” perspective just because I have breasts?
The funny thing about feminism to me – and I don’t know if I’m wrong here – is that it is a movement to achieve equal rights, privileges, duties and responsibilities for both genders. Recognising that we haven’t achieved that yet, presumably one day we will? Will feminism just be a historical fact? Or will we never have equality and feminism always be a tagline attached to gender equality?
Did you know that us males realise, and have always realised, that we’re on to a good thing with gender inequality? We have a vested interest in seeing that it stays. But here’s the thing. We haven’t had to do anything at all except sit back and watch as feminism self-imploded. Some of the biggest mysoginists I’ve encountered were women.
Us men hope you ladies don’t collectively one day realise that if you all supported each other in embracing gender equality and started celebrating feminism’s past achievements and its future challenges, we’d have no choice but to stop sulking and start relinquishing our dominance. I can’t see it happening in my lifetime, though.
Hi Kylie,
I think that one of the main things we as women can do is vote!
and even though it is compulsory so many of us don’t…
As a business woman I am often asked if I am a feminist, usually by men and often just get a rise out of me. However I always answer in the same calm way, which is:
‘Well that depends on your defintion of a feminist. If you believe that a feminist is any woman who wants equal opportunity, equal rights and the right to choice, then yes I guess I am a feminist.’ This usually stops the conversation and allows me to change to a topic I choose as the men squirm.
Love that answer Jody. Very diplomatic.
I have been asked same question and I usually answer no, I support everyone for equal rights, not just genders, but gay rights, minority groups etc.
Loved the article.
A Feminist is a woman who has the ‘CHOICE’ and the ‘VOICE’ to contribute to the shaping of her culture and politics, including whether she wants to work at home with the kids, or get equal pay outside the home. A Feminist does not degrade men nor view them as sexual tyrants or breadwinners. A Feminist is about equality for women and for men. Patriarchy is what Feminists are against, and what some Feminists gave their lives to fight. The spoils of this fight are enjoyed by all of us here in this country. The term itself has always been negative except to those women who understand what it means. Unfortunately, the term itself was never changed and now so many great women must be turning in their graves, feeling that their lives meant nothing, as too many women today are still stuck on the word, applying all the wrong meanings to it. They never bother to look it up in reputable sources. Women today under Islamic rule, and some other political regimes, have no ‘voice’ or ‘choice’ and therefore have either lost, or never enjoyed what these brave women everywhere fought for. Next time you are asked, or even hear the word, think about the women who have been reduced to something less than human, and the men too who have been reduced to having to believe their own wives are not worthy of intelligent discussions or their bodies and mouths must be shut off from others because other ‘men’ like themselves cannot be trusted not to rape or harm them. Paul wrote above: “Some of the biggest mysoginists I’ve encountered were women.” Hopefully we ladies are here to change things for Paul and other ‘real men’ like Paul who have a ‘voice’. During the anti-women slurs by Islamic clerics in this country only Peter Costello and Bronwyn Bishop (Lib) gave pro-Feminist voice. Very young women wear veils here in Australia defending Religion, or through conditioning, who knows. Every Religion is Political. Feminists are not gay women – gay women are gay women. Some are also Feminists. How about we change the term to VOICE/CHOICE WOMEN and all become Feminists? We don’t have to use the term unless we want to remember those women who fought hard for our freedom.