Women in Business Creating Profit and Lifestyle!

"There are no ugly women, only lazy ones,” Helena Rubenstein once famously said. For anyone who is ageing (all of us), you soon realise with maturity your beauty regime requires more time and effort.  When does time and effort go too far though?  If we can’t wear fishnets at 50, are we letting the team down?

Madonna fascinates me.  Apart from her very public, bitter divorce battle, she turned 50 in August this year.  I look at her and wonder – how can this be?  Here is a woman who looks more attractive than she did in her 20′s, with a body that looks like a machine.  There are not many 50 year olds who can dance around (in front of a camera) in fishnet stockings.  I find her fascinating and a little frightening.  Fascinating because of her ambition/determination and the way she has always defied conforming to society and their expectations of her.  She seems to be defying age too.  I find her frightening because I wonder, when will it end? Madonna has been help up as a feminist icon according to Miranda Divine in a recent article in The Sydney Morning Herald.  “Ever since Madonna turned 50 in August, she has been held up to women as the feminist aspirational hero, for redefining middle age and reassuring that big consumer bubble of baby boomers that 50 really is the new 40, or even 30,” she writes. However Miranda then goes on to question the validity of this, “But is it more a feminist achievement to defy age or to embrace it?  And isn’t it more reassuring for an ageing woman to look at her peers and see they look the same as she does, rather than like Madonna?” For all her age defying acts, Madonna works hard for her looks.  She has always been extremely strict on her food intake; she works out for four hours a day and no doubt has had cosmetic work done (even though she has never admitted to it.)  I saw recently a photo of her with Sean Penn and she actually had wrinkles then – ‘normal person in her 30’s’ wrinkles. I think it is great that women of a certain age are no longer viewed as ‘over the hill.’  We are all influenced by society’s expectations of how we should act or look at key milestones ages in our lives.  None of us wants to feel defined by our age and let alone restricted or limited by it. I became frustrated in my early 30’s, seeing so many women start to become obsessed with age and how old they look.   There is so much pressure on women to stay looking youthful.   The number of times I have been asked by women I don’t even know to guess their age, continually surprises me.  Young women don’t ask people to guess their age.  They are young and they know it. I remember reading Naomi Wolf’s The Beauty Myth years ago which first opened my eyes to how much we are influenced by the media and their perceptions of youth.   I always thought it was strange how men seemed to age better than women.  The truth is men and women actually don’t age any differently; we are just so conditioned to see men’s ageing as attractive and women’s as unattractive.  I had been told so many times that men age better than women that I actually believed it was biological.  A male friend said to me recently how much he enjoyed seeing grey hairs in his sideburns, it made him feel distinguished.   I don’t see any of my female friends getting giddy over grey hair.  It’s a shame ageing doesn’t make us feel distinguished too. Instead it’s a strange and bizarre ICE AGE of beauty, where women are expected to have frozen, flawless ‘wrinkle free’ faces, whether they are in their 20’s or 50’s which is simply unrealistic.  It is sad to see so many attractive women going too far and ending up looking distorted and un-human like.  Poor Nicole Kidman – being  referred to as ‘bat like’ at the well publicised cosmetic surgery convention in Sydney earlier this year. The truth is cosmetic surgery is becoming more affordable and mainstream, so it is no longer for the rich and famous.  Whether you are a believer or not, I think it’s important to still look natural and not like a freak.  I look at Helen Mirren and think she looks fabulous.  Being an actress she has likely felt the need to have a few nips and tucks along the way, however she looks lovely and natural and is seen as a sex symbol at the tender age of 63.  The truth is her beauty is enhanced because she exudes a natural confidence.  Helen is comfortable in her own skin and it shows in her graciousness.  How beautiful are these qualities in a woman? Julia Dickensen founder of Oradess Make-up Innovations is a specialist in the beauty industry here in Brisbane.  She runs workshops and consults with women on empowerment through make-up and colour.  "I think essentially women are saying that they feel like they did years ago but that their mirrors are lying to them.  Women find attending our workshops a liberating and motivating experience because it allows them to connect with their new selves.  To embrace their journey, acknowledge it and move forward knowing they can still look good, they have just made a few adjustments." Julia feels it is not our obsession with youth that is causing the problems, but the media’s.  "You know I really think that it is a media obsession with youth.  Most of the women I talk to – it’s not really about youth so much as about reminiscing about freedom and not being burdened.  That perhaps represents youth to some people.  I try and teach women to get a little selfish and devote some time to themselves which has an overall positive effect on their well-being and attitude towards themselves." "I always tell me clients to put ageing into perspective.  Knowledge is empowering so if you teach women how to take care of themselves they begin not to focus so much on the superficial but enjoy themselves for who they are and have become.  We say – don’t try and put an old head on young shoulders, so why are we trying to put a young head on old shoulders?" questions Julia. Maybe we should aspire to LOOKING and FEELING ‘great’ for our age, instead of being too influenced by our media’s frenzied, eternal devotion to youth.

This blog is designed for Brisbane women, about Brisbane women. Have your say here.

Do you think we should try to defy age or embrace it?  How do you feel about ageing gracefully?  What older women do you consider to be beautiful and why? Would you consider cosmetic surgery?

If you would like to suggest a topic or provide feedback on this blog then I would love to hear from you.   If you would also like to be part of the Brisbane Woman blog and forum, then please email me and receive a weekly reminder.

Thank you for interest and participation.