NY’s - less of the BANG, more of the LOVE…

The new year brings with it an optimistic clean slate.

Is anything more appealing in life than feeling like the past can be left just there – in the past?

I had that sense for the first time when I arrived in London on my own, realising that there was only one other person in the country (my friend Alison) who knew anything about me - how I was before, what my personal characteristics were, what was normal behaviour for me and what was not.  I found it very liberating and could not fight off the desire to ‘re-invent’ myself in some way.  I experimented and tried different things but in the end I was the same person, because I actually liked myself.  I was just in a different (much colder) country.

The same thing usually happens at the commencement of a new year.  We spend a lot of time thinking about what we need to change rather than looking at the good and what we are doing right.   The start of the year can therefore be a great time to think about what will make us really happy in the upcoming year.  It is often behaviours that aren’t our ‘authentic self’ that are the ones that make us unhappy anyway.  You know what I mean - when we are trying to be someone we aren’t really or trying too hard for someone else.  So maybe instead of making lists of countless New Year’s resolutions that we know we are not going to stick to, this year we should think about how we can connect more with the things that are really important to us, make us happy and enrich our lives.

A beautiful life must start with actually feeling beauty, within and externally.  True beauty relies on your inner spirit according to Rachel Quilty, Image Expert from Jump The Q. “Inner beauty is more powerful than any facade we can create ourselves and in truth, a physically attractive woman with a mean spirit will never be beautiful.”

Her tips for gaining the most enrichment from your new year are below.

• Consciously generate positive thoughts and feelings of self-love and acceptance in place of any old thoughts of inferiority and inadequacy.
• Take full responsibility for your life and don’t blame others. This is being a ‘victim.’  See yourself as the cause or source of what happens to you.
• Use the affirmation and visualisation process. Be in charge of your thoughts.
• Be willing to create a lifestyle that generates, nourishes and maintains sound self-esteem.
• Associate with others who have high self-esteem.
• Don’t stay in a relationship that doesn’t support your highest good.
• Participate in life at the highest level you can, do those things you like to do, don’t stay in a job you don’t like.
• Watch what you say, avoid self put-downs, don’t be critical of yourself and others, look for something likeable in everyone you know and meet.
• Keep your awareness (thoughts) focused in present time instead of living in the past or future.
• See yourself as being self-sufficient; don’t come from need in relationships - where needs end, love begins.
• Treat yourself lovingly every chance you get - be your own best lover.
• Give yourself the simple pleasures of life abundantly. Wear clothes you feel good in, get a massage, manicure, etc.
• Acknowledge yourself frequently, keep a diary of all your successes, ‘wins’ and accomplishments.
• Invest money in yourself, go to seminars, workshops, start a self-enhancement account, develop your talents by taking courses, lessons, etc.
• Practise the art of laziness; give yourself permission to do nothing periodically. Schedule time by yourself.
• Have a good picture or portrait done of yourself and display it in your home.
• Accept others’ acknowledgements and compliments: don’t invalidate their positive thoughts and feelings about you. Say ‘thank you for seeing that’, etc., and let yourself enjoy it without embarrassment.
• Avoid comparing yourself with others. See yourself as being of equal worth. Remember our value as human beings is not derived from what we do.
• Whenever you have a thought that starts with I have to….I need to…..I should…..I’d better…. Change to ‘I want to’.
• Put integrity into everything you do. Always tell the truth.
• Frequently take deep breaths; discover the benefits and pleasure of breathing fully.
• Get passionate about something you like and get value from.
• Be willing to laugh at yourself, at life and with others. Stop taking yourself seriously.
• Stand in front of the mirror naked and appreciate your good bits.
• Acknowledge others frequently, tell them what you like and appreciate about them, especially your family, partners and work associates.
• Be assertive, speak up for yourself, ask for what you want, express your feelings, preferences and opinions openly and without fear and accept that ‘No’s OK’.

In the last month there has been much holidaying, happiness and celebrating for all of us.  Also in this time my Aunty Kath passed away from Breast Cancer and a girlfriend was rushed to hospital on Boxing Day narrowly escaping death.  I understand that this is the ying and yang of life.

So let us begin the New Year by remembering life is very precious and most precious of all are the people in it.

What are your thoughts?

What would you like to do more of in 09?

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