Can we create rhythm in our lives?
April 30, 2009 | 
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My work involves interviewing and talking with many women. I often find one of the biggest challenges facing modern women is being able to successfully create balance in their lives.
Whether you are a high-flying career woman, a busy home maker, entrepreneurial business owner or a combination of all – finding balance is a challenge. What often sabotages this balance, is the inability to find a rhythm in our lives. Finding this rhythm means that life is in a natural flow – rather than a whirlwind of chaos, where you feel continually out of sync.
Have you ever felt like everything is just falling into place without too much effort? It is wonderful when it happens. Or perhaps life is so crazily busy but everything feels so right that you don’t mind falling into bed exhausted.
Can we keep creating this renewed feeling of passion or life force, that to me feels like life is simply ‘flowing’ in the right direction. I love that feeling, you just know you are on the right track because of it. I sometimes wonder, is this something that happens naturally though, when the time is right, or do we have the ability to create this feeling more?
Often in our modern lives there is too much chaos and we are trying to be experts in so many areas, sometimes we end up mastering very little. The result is feeling tired, frustrated and like we are not achieving enough. We get on a roll of believing that we are underachieving, become too competitive, feel like we should always be doing more and compare ourselves unfavourably to others.
If you have heard of the Chinese religion Taoism, the basis of this religion is about creating flow and rhythm in your life. Tao can be roughly translated to be in the flow of the universe. Even visiting a Chinese art exhibition recently, I found the experience so peaceful – there is a flow and rhythm in all the Chinese art. The simple act of observing this art made me feel peaceful.
I spoke with Joan Weir recently to see if we can create this sense of rhythm in our lives or whether to accept that it’s something that just happens naturally and we just need to ride the good tide when it does. (Joan is a qualified Personal Coach specialising in coaching women who want to succeed in life.)
The good news is we can actually create rhythm in our lives, we just need to work at it sometimes.
Joan has this to say, on how to create more rhythm in our lives.
“I attended a parent-teacher night last year where the issue of homework came up (actually I was the one to launch this rather touchy subject). After much discussion one brave parent asked, “Well, why do kids have homework?” Great question I thought.
The answer was about creating a rhythm or routine. By having to spend 20 minutes or so doing homework, the child learns the art of discipline. This quality time, compared to blobbing out in front of the TV or computer, strengthens a child’s willpower. It means they learn that having a rhythm creates results. What a great lesson for our kids!
So how does homework and rhythm apply to us?
Well, just as our kids benefit from having discipline in their lives, so do we. If we have a rhythm that we follow, we too will create results. I often see clients who aren’t consistent in their actions. I fall into this trap too sometimes. I find that the more people stay focused on their goals and commit to doing something every day, even something small, then they achieve results much faster. They create a rhythm in their life.
For example, one client I worked with had a dream of being an artist. By being focused, she created a rhythm of painting every day. At the end of 3 months, much to her joy, she had her first exhibition booked! I’m not saying that it was easy for her, but the commitment she made to regularly paint, to be disciplined and take action every day, made a huge difference to her results. She created her rhythm.
So what are our daily rhythms?
Do we have a rhythm around handling emails? Updating our finances? What about our marketing rhythm? Do we have marketing activities we do each week or each month? Just think how much more productive we could be, if we did our “homework” and developed a daily, weekly and monthly rhythm to achieve the things we want in life.
I have learnt and seen many times over that being consistent in our actions, or keeping a rhythm, is one of the great keys to success. As Aristotle said “We are what we do repeatedly. Excellence, therefore, is not an act, it is a habit.”
Have your say…
Do you think you can create rhythm? How? When can you tell you are not in the flow? How do you get yourself back in rhythm?
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For a long time I believed that if something was right in your life, it needed come easily. ‘Things that come easily must be naturally right.’ I now realise how wrong I was and that we are often unaware of our comfort zones and limiting beliefs. Unless we push ourselves and create new ryhthms as the aricles mentions, then we end up bored and frustrated (as I did!!) Now my life is interesting and challening. I have learnt when is the right time to keep pushing
Great article Kylie and Joan is right on the money. I love the term ‘pushing shit uphill’ because this is exactly how it feels sometimes. But you have to do the hard yards initially, be disciplined and stay focused to reap the rewards in the end.
I agree to a point, but is important to know when to walk way too. I think relying on your intuition brings about greater results. Sometimes things seem impossible but your intuition tells you it is the right thing to be doing, no matter how challenging. This gives you the passion and life force you are referring to Kylie.
Having just completed a 40 day fast I have seen so clearly how much I complicate my life. I complicate my relationship with food. I complicate my relationship with husband and my stepsons. I complicate my work. I complicate day to day tasks. I complicate everything!
Simplicity is possible and simplicity itself seems to reveal the rhythm and balance that is always present. What was that song? “The rhythm of life is a powerful beat… puts a tingle in your fingers and a tingle in your feet…?” I can feel that rhythm right now. It’s in my breath. It’s in the sounds of the birds I can hear. It’s in the beauty of the sunlight and the blue, blue sky.
I can’t see or feel the rhythm inside me and around me when I complicate life though, when I’m too busy to appreciate it, when I’m moving too fast.
All I need to do to get myself back into balance is to slow down, acknowledge the good and take a deep breath. That’s it. Easy. No discipline required. Simple.
I totally agree Kylie. A great man once told me that if you do one thing (not matter how small) every day towards achieving your goals, then you will significantly increase your chances of getting there. I know myself that having a routine and sticking to it really helps to reduce the amount of procrastination I am inclined to do!
Creating flow or rhythm can create breakthroughs, especially for those of us who prefer a more spontaneous life! A wise friend once put it to me that it’s important to be routinely creative and creative in your routines.
Recently when I was resisting a discipline I knew I needed but hated the thought of (exercising!!), another wise friend suggested that discipline is the price of success, and if I really wanted the success, I had to be willing to pay the price that would get me there.
These two simple thoughts keep me focused daily and have been very helpful in generating more flow throughout my life!
I was just thinking that rhythm is not necessarily routine, nor is routine rhythm, and discipline is neither of those things either. I think rhythm would have to be something that is personal. I think some people excel on chaos, and succeed.
I’m a planner and a routine person, and I respond well to boundaries. I (embarrassingly) have an excel spreadsheet of my week and each night has a chore that I need to do. The whole planning exercise calms me and gives me rhythm and balance: even if it’s just because I’m visualising it. But you can bet your penny that my routine never ever is implemented to its fullest extent. Because life is not routined, and because I don’t practice discipline!!